Wednesday 17 March 2021

Mar 17, 2021 - Beautiful Marshlands

Under things I learnt today, Iraq has an absolutely wonderful region in the south called the Mesopotamian marshes. I am in awe of its beauty.

They seem surreal, in the backdrop of a country torn apart by militia, media, politics, IS, local rebels. For me, the below pictures make me realize that Iraq is truly beautiful and has always been.


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Mar 16, 2021 - Being Uncomfortable around Perfection

Since there is a senior management team meeting happening, the office feels lively. It's predominantly a British management, and we know how perfect they are.

Today is also the day I did not wear my blazer (little did I know that who's who of the office would be flocking by). So, well, I sat in one place, trying to be invisible while listening to click clacks of heels and whish whoosh of sharply tailored blazers and pant suits and dresses.

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Tuesday 9 March 2021

Mar 10, 2021 - Could Earth have been Avatar?

Avatar, the movie, was way ahead of its time. Made in 2009, it could've well applied to a 150 AD Earth or a 2150 AD Earth. A beyond lush, resourceful and beautiful planet where life is simple. There is no junk food, no digging up Pandora for minerals, no electricity or sky scrapers. Simple sleeping pods made of roots. Simple food from available plants and fruits and perhaps the small creatures. You know exactly where your food comes from.

No politics, no news. A horse and a dragon for all. Not too bad eh?

Nature is amazing. It has everything for us. All energy is only borrowed and one day, you have to give it back. Every living being is connected - there's a flow which we do not realize. But we live as isolated beings, glued to our couches, working for money in small man made desks when in fact, we have all of the planet to wander on.

There was a sentence in the series 'Outlander' of which I saw a few episodes. 'We will live off the land'. I think the show was set in the 1700's. I am inclined to believe that people did live off the land - eating food in the wild, sleeping in the wild. A very different life to what we live now. I don't know which I prefer.

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Sunday 7 March 2021

Mar 7, 2021 - Nothingness Part 2

Every alternate week we work from home. I've really come to appreciate working from home. The chance to spend more time with my partner and my cat and my plants and my couch. Not to mention the time saved on travel.

*Rant Alert* I have been feeling really dilapidated. Like an old building, without a purpose. I watch Korean dramas that typically make me happy. I swim almost daily - this used to make me happy. But there is something that is gnawing inside of me. And I'm embarrassed of it. It's Meghan Markle. I have found her to be a below average actor - it's the reason I stopped watching Suits - my frustration of her overtook my fascination of 'Harvey'. But seeing her all over the web, with #harryandmeghan everywhere, radio, television included, is driving me nuts. I don't want to dislike her - she literally has zero impact on my life, but as I write this, I do dislike her. There are people I dislike, but they're not in my face. I need to get over this - otherwise - before I know it - there will be a 'Nothingness - Part 149'.

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Friday 5 March 2021

Mar 6, 2021 - Of Nothingness

I feel so empty. It's been a few days. Swimming really helps. I do not want to work full time. But it so happens that I want to travel a lot. I'm on the edge if may be I'd be okay to travel in moderate settings. I mean I would be more than okay to stay in boutique villas, luxury hotels, artsy nooks - but the question is, would I be okay to travel in moderate settings.

Apart from travel, another big thing would be kids. Having kids changes the whole equation. You then have a certain minimum standard and liability to keep up with every month. Or a sick loved one with above the moon bills. 

At this point in life, neither can I travel thanks to Covid-19 nor do I have kids nor a sick loved one. So the motivation to work full time is missing. And it's been a while that it's been missing. I have a feeling many people en el todo el mundo feel this way.

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Wednesday 3 March 2021

Mar 3, 2021 - Of 50 Laps

I swam for almost 40 minutes yesterday. High intensity swimming completing 50 laps. I felt so good. Observation of my life - when I'm in water/close to water I am so happy. It's not logical. I forget all my worries. I am a different person in H2O.

I sometimes wonder why I don't do it more often. Will my love for water fade if it is made available everyday? Is my illogical fascination for H2O driven by my infrequent visits to the pool/sea? I plan to swim daily and go to the beach every weekend. Let's see if the fascination wears off.

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Monday 1 March 2021

Mar 2, 2021 - Of Being Sad

I’ve been off last few weeks. I’ve been sad in fact. 

  1. I calculated my savings over the next 15 years, and it made me sad that it’s a small number (it’s relative).
  2. A fellow colleague (and new joiner) occupied the wonderful window seat without telling anyone. It reminded me of a legal phrase – squatters rights. 
  3. I’m still confused whether I want to be a mother (clock is ticking).
  4. I still haven’t figured out how to sell something else apart from my precious time.
  5. I made a few mistakes and lost some money while trading. (I will not call it investing).
  6. I sometimes do not have enough work to keep me occupied and recently realized my company monitors my screen.
  7. I badly want to travel but I’ve become stingy – it’s not like I don’t make money – I just want to retire as soon as possible and want to live like a hermit but this makes me sad.
  8. I worked hard to lose weight and get fit, but then I lapsed – I haven’t worked out in a week and I’ve been eating everything – samosa to ben&jerry.
  9. I’m anxious that I’m still on probation for another 12 days – and I will not know before then whether I am a confirmed employee. Having said this, once I’m confirmed, I’m going to be less anxious by a degree but point #4 still haunts me.
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Mar 1, 2021 - Of Humans and their Minds

In my previous office, my outside view was that of a desert. No, that sounds rather exotic for someone living in a busy city. My view was the of a barren land. Nothingness. Prior to that, I had no view. It was a room without windows.

In my current office, I get to see the tallest building in the world as my outside view, on one side. On the other side, I get to see the sea. Yes - the lovely blue Persian Gulf. Irrespective of what you were used to, this is majestic. I was bowled over on the first few days. Very naively, I mentioned to a senior person how wonderful it is to have this view. I asked (stupidly, in hindsight) this person if they ever got used to the view.

Today, I looked outside and just yawned. The view is now normalized. I'm used to it. I am used to this beautiful sea and the beautiful skyscraper. I'm a little upset that this view is normalized for me and no longer exciting or fascinating. Sigh. Humans.

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