Mar 16, 2021 - Being Uncomfortable around Perfection

Since there is a senior management team meeting happening, the office feels lively. It's predominantly a British management, and we know how perfect they are.

Today is also the day I did not wear my blazer (little did I know that who's who of the office would be flocking by). So, well, I sat in one place, trying to be invisible while listening to click clacks of heels and whish whoosh of sharply tailored blazers and pant suits and dresses.

SS

Mar 7, 2021 - Nothingness Part 2

Every alternate week we work from home. I've really come to appreciate working from home. The chance to spend more time with my partner and my cat and my plants and my couch. Not to mention the time saved on travel.

*Rant Alert* I have been feeling really dilapidated. Like an old building, without a purpose. I watch Korean dramas that typically make me happy. I swim almost daily - this used to make me happy. But there is something that is gnawing inside of me. And I'm embarrassed of it. It's Meghan Markle. I have found her to be a below average actor - it's the reason I stopped watching Suits - my frustration of her overtook my fascination of 'Harvey'. But seeing her all over the web, with #harryandmeghan everywhere, radio, television included, is driving me nuts. I don't want to dislike her - she literally has zero impact on my life, but as I write this, I do dislike her. There are people I dislike, but they're not in my face. I need to get over this - otherwise - before I know it - there will be a 'Nothingness - Part 149'.

SS

Mar 2, 2021 - Of Being Sad

I’ve been off last few weeks. I’ve been sad in fact. 

1. I calculated my savings over the next 15 years, and it made me sad that it’s a small number (it’s relative).
2. A fellow colleague (and new joiner) occupied the wonderful window seat without telling anyone. It reminded me of a legal phrase – squatters rights. 
3. I’m still confused whether I want to be a mother (clock is ticking).
4. I still haven’t figured out how to sell something else apart from my precious time.
5. I made a few mistakes and lost some money while trading. (I will not call it investing).
6. I sometimes do not have enough work to keep me occupied and recently realized my company monitors my screen.
7. I badly want to travel but I’ve become stingy – it’s not like I don’t make money – I just want to retire as soon as possible and want to live like a hermit but this makes me sad.
8. I worked hard to lose weight and get fit, but then I lapsed – I haven’t worked out in a week and I’ve been eating everything – samosa to ben&jerry.
9. I’m anxious that I’m still on probation for another 12 days – and I will not know before then whether I am a confirmed employee. Having said this, once I’m confirmed, I’m going to be less anxious by a degree but point #4 still haunts me.

SS

Feb 14, 2021 - Valentine's Day in the Nursery

A day before Feb 14, I realized I could no longer hold in the surprise. I told my partner I was getting him a fully paid holiday and his reaction was unexpected. He was the opposite of elated. I immediately told him I had not yet paid for it, that I'll find another gift. I foresee it'll take a few months to search for the perfect gift - so perhaps his birthday?

Subsequently, he told me he's planning on getting me an Apple watch. My initial excitement faded quickly, I realized I did not want any more material things in my life, let alone one that reads time and sends notifications. I told him I'd like plants instead. We drove to the nursery instead of the electronic store.

So, neither of us got what we planned. But I got something I shall cherish forever. A Monstera and a Birds of Paradise. I dare say he likes plants too. So win-win?

SS

Jan 18, 2021 - Hertzing through the Expressway

As I drove my 2008 Infiniti G 35 (what would be probably my last time) at 120 kmh, I started to hear weird noises. I knew at that moment, it was time to lay her to rest. In car years, she was old.

The next few days saw me frantically searching for cars - thankfully, the second hand market is very mature in Dubai. But I couldn't decide what car to get. I personally love Volvo, but apparently they're expensive to maintain. I really like Infiniti - but they don't come cheap (I wasn't going to buy a pre 2015 model again). I was lost. Still am.

I then shifted my focus to rental cars for the time being, until I decide what to buy. There are so many options - Thrifty, Dollar, Hertz, Europcar, Shift, not to mention all the local franchises. It's really interesting - the pricing game behind rental games. Being in pricing myself, I can understand how hectic, dynamic and tough the behind the scenes must be - all the while maintaining minimum margins. After one hour of research, I decided to go with Hertz.

• Great customer service
• Good price (read - free insurance)
• Zero hassle delivery (read - free delivery) of the car

But I miss the plush leather interiors. A new car will have to wait.

SS