Mar 2, 2021 - Of Being Sad

I’ve been off last few weeks. I’ve been sad in fact. 

1. I calculated my savings over the next 15 years, and it made me sad that it’s a small number (it’s relative).
2. A fellow colleague (and new joiner) occupied the wonderful window seat without telling anyone. It reminded me of a legal phrase – squatters rights. 
3. I’m still confused whether I want to be a mother (clock is ticking).
4. I still haven’t figured out how to sell something else apart from my precious time.
5. I made a few mistakes and lost some money while trading. (I will not call it investing).
6. I sometimes do not have enough work to keep me occupied and recently realized my company monitors my screen.
7. I badly want to travel but I’ve become stingy – it’s not like I don’t make money – I just want to retire as soon as possible and want to live like a hermit but this makes me sad.
8. I worked hard to lose weight and get fit, but then I lapsed – I haven’t worked out in a week and I’ve been eating everything – samosa to ben&jerry.
9. I’m anxious that I’m still on probation for another 12 days – and I will not know before then whether I am a confirmed employee. Having said this, once I’m confirmed, I’m going to be less anxious by a degree but point #4 still haunts me.

SS