Sep 17, 2021 - Of Afghanistan, and the World not being Fair

The other day, I was driving home. I was overwhelmed, hearing about the news of Taliban taking control in Afghanistan. To learn that the freedom the women enjoyed would be taken away from them, I gripped my steering wheel tighter. I feel privileged writing on my laptop. I have electricity, Wi-Fi, a laptop, and hands that work fine. How many people in Afghanistan, heck, world over, don't have this?

I'm extremely grateful, and so should you be too, if you are able to read this. The world is not fair, where you are born predicates how your life will, most likely, turn out. How much money your parents have, or grandparents, or how much land you have inherited will always work for you, most likely. And this has been decided even before your birth. The world is not fair.

Aug 31, 2021 - The Perfect Moment

Last week, I went to the beach after a long time. It was a full moon night. From where we swam, we could see the Burj Khalifa - like a gorgeous and tall Swarovski crystal, reaching for the moon. Both the moon and the building were golden - it felt like the perfect moment. If time paused, this scene would seem like a page out of fairy tale. It was so perfect I was tempted to swim back to shore, take my phone and click a photo. But I didn't - I just stared in awe.

Aug 27, 2021 - That Horrible Birthday Realization

When I was 16, my phone was engaged between 11 pm and 3 am. I did not consider myself popular, but I had a lot of friends. They would all call me - some would get through, others would call back a couple of times. I would go to school the next day with blood shot eyes, the bloodier the eyes, the more the friends. 

Over the next few years, phone calls reduced - first, instead of 4 hours, to two hours, and then one hour, around midnight. Slowly, the phone calls shifted to during office hours, a brief phone call, with only a couple of friends calling in the evening for more than 5 minutes.

Today, as I turn 33, I got only one call from a friend, everyone else wished me on Instagram, LinkedIn and Whatsapp. My bank and my hospital sent me an email wishing me. The one constant has been my immediate family. While I'm grateful for my family, I can't help but feel a little sadness at how the number of phone calls, friends and hours of conversations went to a flat line.

The graph, you ask? Yes, I drew it. I gifted my husband randomly one day an apple pencil. 

If you don't get it, it's fine - just goes to show that over the 15 years, nobody has time to pick up the phone and talk, even on one's birthday.

SS

Aug 26, 2021 - Of bullet Journaling

I diligently wrote bullet points in my new leather bound diary bought from Typo, for 1 month. I found myself writing what I eat (bonus points if I cook something), if I did yoga/exercise, if I watched a TED talk, if I did a few minutes of learning a new language (Spanish words, Arabic letters), if I started a new K-drama, if I had lunch with someone or spoke to someone for more than 5 minutes - stuff like that. Stuff that makes me realize that I'm doing something other than working and commuting. Stuff that will help me down the lane, to realize that my life has been fuller than I give credit to it for.

But lately, I've been stuck in a rut. It's the same routine. There's nothing new that I do. 

Mar 17, 2021 - Beautiful Marshlands

Under things I learnt today, Iraq has an absolutely wonderful region in the south called the Mesopotamian marshes. I am in awe of its beauty.

They seem surreal, in the backdrop of a country torn apart by militia, media, politics, IS, local rebels. For me, the below pictures make me realize that Iraq is truly beautiful and has always been.

SS

Mar 16, 2021 - Being Uncomfortable around Perfection

Since there is a senior management team meeting happening, the office feels lively. It's predominantly a British management, and we know how perfect they are.

Today is also the day I did not wear my blazer (little did I know that who's who of the office would be flocking by). So, well, I sat in one place, trying to be invisible while listening to click clacks of heels and whish whoosh of sharply tailored blazers and pant suits and dresses.

SS

Mar 10, 2021 - Could Earth have been Avatar?

Avatar, the movie, was way ahead of its time. Made in 2009, it could've well applied to a 150 AD Earth or a 2150 AD Earth. A beyond lush, resourceful and beautiful planet where life is simple. There is no junk food, no digging up Pandora for minerals, no electricity or sky scrapers. Simple sleeping pods made of roots. Simple food from available plants and fruits and perhaps the small creatures. You know exactly where your food comes from.

No politics, no news. A horse and a dragon for all. Not too bad eh?

Nature is amazing. It has everything for us. All energy is only borrowed and one day, you have to give it back. Every living being is connected - there's a flow which we do not realize. But we live as isolated beings, glued to our couches, working for money in small man made desks when in fact, we have all of the planet to wander on.

There was a sentence in the series 'Outlander' of which I saw a few episodes. 'We will live off the land'. I think the show was set in the 1700's. I am inclined to believe that people did live off the land - eating food in the wild, sleeping in the wild. A very different life to what we live now. I don't know which I prefer.

SS

Mar 7, 2021 - Nothingness Part 2

Every alternate week we work from home. I've really come to appreciate working from home. The chance to spend more time with my partner and my cat and my plants and my couch. Not to mention the time saved on travel.

*Rant Alert* I have been feeling really dilapidated. Like an old building, without a purpose. I watch Korean dramas that typically make me happy. I swim almost daily - this used to make me happy. But there is something that is gnawing inside of me. And I'm embarrassed of it. It's Meghan Markle. I have found her to be a below average actor - it's the reason I stopped watching Suits - my frustration of her overtook my fascination of 'Harvey'. But seeing her all over the web, with #harryandmeghan everywhere, radio, television included, is driving me nuts. I don't want to dislike her - she literally has zero impact on my life, but as I write this, I do dislike her. There are people I dislike, but they're not in my face. I need to get over this - otherwise - before I know it - there will be a 'Nothingness - Part 149'.

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Mar 6, 2021 - Of Nothingness

I feel so empty. It's been a few days. Swimming really helps. I do not want to work full time. But it so happens that I want to travel a lot. I'm on the edge if may be I'd be okay to travel in moderate settings. I mean I would be more than okay to stay in boutique villas, luxury hotels, artsy nooks - but the question is, would I be okay to travel in moderate settings.

Apart from travel, another big thing would be kids. Having kids changes the whole equation. You then have a certain minimum standard and liability to keep up with every month. Or a sick loved one with above the moon bills. 

At this point in life, neither can I travel thanks to Covid-19 nor do I have kids nor a sick loved one. So the motivation to work full time is missing. And it's been a while that it's been missing. I have a feeling many people en el todo el mundo feel this way.

SS

Mar 3, 2021 - Of 50 Laps

I swam for almost 40 minutes yesterday. High intensity swimming completing 50 laps. I felt so good. Observation of my life - when I'm in water/close to water I am so happy. It's not logical. I forget all my worries. I am a different person in H2O.

I sometimes wonder why I don't do it more often. Will my love for water fade if it is made available everyday? Is my illogical fascination for H2O driven by my infrequent visits to the pool/sea? I plan to swim daily and go to the beach every weekend. Let's see if the fascination wears off.

SS

Mar 2, 2021 - Of Being Sad

I’ve been off last few weeks. I’ve been sad in fact. 

1. I calculated my savings over the next 15 years, and it made me sad that it’s a small number (it’s relative).
2. A fellow colleague (and new joiner) occupied the wonderful window seat without telling anyone. It reminded me of a legal phrase – squatters rights. 
3. I’m still confused whether I want to be a mother (clock is ticking).
4. I still haven’t figured out how to sell something else apart from my precious time.
5. I made a few mistakes and lost some money while trading. (I will not call it investing).
6. I sometimes do not have enough work to keep me occupied and recently realized my company monitors my screen.
7. I badly want to travel but I’ve become stingy – it’s not like I don’t make money – I just want to retire as soon as possible and want to live like a hermit but this makes me sad.
8. I worked hard to lose weight and get fit, but then I lapsed – I haven’t worked out in a week and I’ve been eating everything – samosa to ben&jerry.
9. I’m anxious that I’m still on probation for another 12 days – and I will not know before then whether I am a confirmed employee. Having said this, once I’m confirmed, I’m going to be less anxious by a degree but point #4 still haunts me.

SS

Mar 1, 2021 - Of Humans and their Minds

In my previous office, my outside view was that of a desert. No, that sounds rather exotic for someone living in a busy city. My view was the of a barren land. Nothingness. Prior to that, I had no view. It was a room without windows.

In my current office, I get to see the tallest building in the world as my outside view, on one side. On the other side, I get to see the sea. Yes - the lovely blue Persian Gulf. Irrespective of what you were used to, this is majestic. I was bowled over on the first few days. Very naively, I mentioned to a senior person how wonderful it is to have this view. I asked (stupidly, in hindsight) this person if they ever got used to the view.

Today, I looked outside and just yawned. The view is now normalized. I'm used to it. I am used to this beautiful sea and the beautiful skyscraper. I'm a little upset that this view is normalized for me and no longer exciting or fascinating. Sigh. Humans.

SS

Feb 18, 2021 - Of (Exponential) Money in IPL

My husband is a huge fan of IPL - in that he doesn't watch all the matches - but appreciates certain matches and teams. Today, he was watching the IPL auction taking place.

I want to write about a particular bid - it was for Chris Morris. I had not heard of him until today. There were three teams bidding for him - and every few seconds, the bid price rose by 25 lakhs. 25 lakhs is higher than the average annual salary of most Indians. It is an amount some people will take a year to save - though closer to three to five years for most other people. Chris Morris was getting it by the second.

From starting at a base price of 75 lakhs to Rajasthan Royals winning him for 16 Cr - what a terrific journey of exponential growth in 10 minutes. Such is the money in IPL.

SS

Feb 17, 2021 - Dreaming of Wild Scotland

Everyday, when I have a bowl of cereal or eggs or whatever it is that I eat for breakfast, I switch on my 76" TV, go to YouTube and search for beautiful travel videos - be it of hikes, of aerial footage, cycling, forest hopping (yes it's a thing), camping and the like. I realized, most often than not, I land up dreaming about Scotland, and occasionally about UK. There is a channel that I have to mention that is not related to Scotland/UK - Jonna Jinton's Sweden videos.

But otherwise I always land up watching a video on Scotland. I am so in awe of the cliffs and landscape. It's raw, green with an endless expanse of the ocean - I never tire of watching the waves crashing over stunningly rugged cliffs. Yesterday I came across a channel that I am now hooked on to. Going the Whole Hogg - run by a couple - they seem so calm and seem like lovely people - and this is the video that got me addicted. The editing of the videos is top notch - along with a great choice of background music.

I sometimes ask myself why I write. I like to write, and I want to be able to come back and read my thoughts decades from now. And I want to remember this moment, sitting on my couch and being mesmerized at how beautiful Wild Scotland is.

SS

Feb 15, 2021 - Of Being a Manager

Ever since I realized that multiple choice questions (MCQs as the cool people who are good at it call it) was not my forte, my dreams of getting an MBA became a mirage. With that, my dreams of becoming a young manager.

So it took me a good decade to earn that title. Phew, it's been a long and relentless journey - a journey where I wanted to make multiple stops but couldn't on fear of losing time or being outpaced. But this happened yesterday. It doesn't feel as good as it should have - seeing that it was a long standing dream. Maybe because I am still craving for those stops? Maybe because I'm now older and wiser, and that my goal post has changed?

SS

Feb 14, 2021 - Valentine's Day in the Nursery

A day before Feb 14, I realized I could no longer hold in the surprise. I told my partner I was getting him a fully paid holiday and his reaction was unexpected. He was the opposite of elated. I immediately told him I had not yet paid for it, that I'll find another gift. I foresee it'll take a few months to search for the perfect gift - so perhaps his birthday?

Subsequently, he told me he's planning on getting me an Apple watch. My initial excitement faded quickly, I realized I did not want any more material things in my life, let alone one that reads time and sends notifications. I told him I'd like plants instead. We drove to the nursery instead of the electronic store.

So, neither of us got what we planned. But I got something I shall cherish forever. A Monstera and a Birds of Paradise. I dare say he likes plants too. So win-win?

SS

Feb 5, 2021 - Fear of Old Age.

I think the old age problem is not small. Nor is it confined to a specific race, gender, country. Who's going to take care of you when you grow old? Who's going to take care of your parents when they get old, now that you have a plush job in a swanky city far away from your parents? I think about this a lot.

If I'm so scared, I can only imagine how paranoid my folks are. And extrapolating this to other families, I'm almost certain this dilemma plays out to its full potential. Old age homes are frowned upon - which is really sad because I feel like they are great solutions. A community of similar folks living together, doing gardening (or that's just the way I picture it?) surrounded by gardens and trees. With nurses, attendants, cleaners and a doctor on call. How can this be bad? 

Maybe the fact that your children do not have the time or space to take care of their parents? Parents want for their kids to do well in life, go to a big city, earn the big bucks but then somehow give all that up and come back to take care of the parents. Or find another solution. Such irony.

SS

Feb 4, 2021 - Of Second Apartments.

A childhood friend of mine recently signed to buy her second apartment. I think I was happy and flustered. It's not that I don't have money to buy an apartment - but I feel like it's inertia. Once you've bought one property, it gets so much easier to buy your second one, and then some. I've been going on and about like a hamster on his wheel. I've been intending to buy some property - as an investment, just something that seems like a financially smart person would do. But it just seems like it's not straight forward.

• Taxes.
• Hidden fees.
• How do you know if it is a good locality?
• How do you know if it is disputed land?
• How do you know if the apartment is built on legally okay land (I can think of a case in India a few years ago - where in after years of residents living in the building, the court came out with a ruling that the land on which the apartment was built, was not legally okay - the land worsened the impact of floods and was not environmentally fit for construction). The building was demolished. Hundreds of residents lost their home in a matter of hours.
• Which real estate agent do you trust?
• How do you know if the construction quality is good?
• How do you know if it is good value for money?
• Phew - it's a lot - ain't it?

So I applaud my friend for her 2nd apartment.

SS

3 Feb, 2021 - Of Bite Sized News

Every morning, once I fire up my laptop, the first thing I do is delete promotional emails - this includes newsletters I am lazy to unsubscribe from, mails from banks, coffee shops and airline companies, event notifications from around the city etc. To me, clearing my mailbox is uncluttering. 

Lately, there is an email that I have started to read daily. The Ascend - bite sized news - that takes 2 minutes to read. It's got easy to read language and highlights the most important news you need to know.

I believe brief summaries like this email would be the future. Newspapers and news on TV have their audience, I'm not denying it. But, and there is a but, as attention spans continue to shrink, maybe, 2 minutes/day for reading curated news for an ordinary person like me seems future proof.

SS

Jan 25, 2021 - The Intelligent Investor

Yesterday, I read about a 27 yo in the States, who claimed to have achieved FIRE. I was astounded. He's already saved up a million dollars and almost there with the mortgage for his house - at 27! How have some people figured out their life so fast? I'm not saying that hitting a $1m is figuring out life, but the thought of never having to work for money again is 'quite a lot of figuring it out', in my opinion.

Unrelated, I starting reading the Intelligent Investor 2 days ago and while some terms and sentences require me to read through twice, I can already foresee myself being blown away by the book. I know that the rich invest in the stock market. I don't know a lot of rich people who are not linked to the stock market in some way or another. So I think understanding more about it is a good starting point to creating wealth. Right? I don't know. I guess I'll come back here in a few years and update you all.

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